Dear Matéo,

It hurts.

Don't you understand?

I missed

[I chose not to look for]

 you.

Your quiet character

And reserved demeanor.

Your secret schemes,

      Laid like traps,

As young children

     Are wont to do.

I missed

[I didn't think you were worthy of my attention]

you.

Your knowing smiles,

And aversions to cameras.

Your application to studies

And desire to be your best.

Your daily devotions

And all the hidden secrets.

Don't you understand?

It hurts.

I missed

[I had closed myself off from everyone]

Most of my chances

To know you for who you are

So when people ask these days

I could tell them so much more

     Than

Merely your age and name,

Where you went to school

And now are attending.

     More

Than just your majors

And where you want to go.

It hurts.

Because I was negligent,

And ran away from the world.

I am the only one to blame.

For you were readily there

And are to this day.

And yet.

Regrets.

It hurts.

I missed

[let life pass by unnoticed]

you.

Regards,
Your sister